Helping to break the Silence

Oh my gosh. I just wrote a very long, very vent-ful post on here and tried to publish it, but blogger decided to give me an error thing and said to go back and try posting again, and then it conveniently deleted my post.

Here is the gist of it:

When I am home, I want to be home enjoying myself and Oregon and my friends and not doing stupid homework.

When I am around Matt, I want to be allowed my private loving of him and not be interrupted by his girlfriend showing up to the wedding that he and I are a part of. (I have loved him for 7 full years now, never got over him, and now that I'm older and wiser I know that what I have felt for him all along is love, even if at a slightly lesser degree than what I more recently felt for a certain someone else.) But it's ok and I only cried for a few minutes last night because I have known all along and still know that Matt and I never could be. I am still hoping to find his clone here at BYU. I'd be all over that in a second.

I want to bring back all of these books that are just sitting in my bookcase here in my room but I don't have room to because I have to fill extra space in my suitcase with my brother's hammock! I want to have a bookcase in my room in our new house but now I will have very few books to fill it with, which will now not include my Harry Potter collection, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Princess Bride, my beautiful, stunning, but 10 lbs set of the Lord of the Rings, and my four copies of the Hobbit (yes 4 and they are all different and I love them all. One is even equal in beauty to my LOTR set). Just to name a few.
I will have room to bring a few books with me that I haven't read yet though. Yay...

I realized that there is probably a way to find a saved draft of my last post but I don't really care. I like this one better anyway.