Toys-R-Us

I've decided I don't wanna grow up. Yep. Made that decision just now. Why, you ask? Because it's just too gosh darn painful. When I was a kid all I had to think about was me and my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and how they and I were going to take out the Shredder... and Fritz, the next door neighbor's evil dog that chewed up my Casey Jones action figure.... I could have cared less what the girls thought of me. I could have cared less what kind of emotional support I was receiving. I could have cared less about tons.

Now... now... it's just pain...

Let me be six again. Let me have my Donatello's and Michelangelo's to rule the world...

... or maybe just the backyard...

: (

A Red, Red Rose

O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie
That's sweetly played in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry:

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only Luve,
And fare thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it ware ten thousand mile.

- Robert Burns

This isn't even a vent really. Just a call for normalcy. A prayer for peace. ...... but most of all a kid clinging to Hope...

I'm so sorry

Has anyone ever loved something... or someone... so much that you find you're ruining it? You would do absolutely anything in the world to make things work, but it only causes problems? The real answer lies in doing less, not more? It lies in taking a step back, letting things happen as they do, and praying like there's no tomorrow that it'll all work out in the end? That's me.

I feel like a little child that has just stumbled upon a caterpillar's cocoon. Fascination tingling this child sits and watches as the cocoon parts and a butterfly starts to try and crawl out. Paralyzed with awe the child just watches, wanting to simply touch the metamorphosis that he doesn't understand. As the butterfly clears the cocoon the child is unable to retain himself any longer and attempts to pick up the fresh butterfly. Enchantment turns to consternation as he accidentally tears one of the unbelievably fragile wings. Tears stream down his face as he realizes if he had only waited a little longer he would not have destroyed the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

May the world know, may my friends know, but most of all... may my butterfly know... Katie... I'm sorry. I love you too much. I try too hard. And sometimes.... I tear your wings. Forgive me. I was wrong yesterday. I don't know what came over me. Please forgive a child that is so in love he doesn't know how to act. I love you Katie.