I'm tired..... I'm just simply worn out.... too many things always going through my head and too many things always on the To-Do list. I'm frustrated (Not angry).
Even vacations often seem to bring me no respite. Where is that stuff actually found?!
I find myself just wishing that I could find some way to leave all my cares, and concerns, and responsibilities, and passions, and problems, and drama, and work, and money, and heartaches, and desires, and dreams, and pains, and burdens, and mantles, and hopes, and frustrations... and just take a step away....
and go lay in a hammock.....
on a beach....
sipping a virgin martini....
with one of those little umbrellas....
alone....
I suppose the only day that'll ever happen is when I'm dead. And even then, I'm sure God will put me to work.
My existence is doomed to trudge with the burden of responsibilty.
Normally I'm fine with it. In fact normally I quite like it. But like both of the Relief Society Presidents expressed yesterday evening, "We, as Leaders, are HARPED ON by Satan on all sides!" Sitting there, watching tears flow down the cheeks of both presidents, and having my own demons raging within me, I felt a tad bit overwhelmed.
But ask me then, ask me now, or ask me later if I would have it any other way, and I will respond with a resounding, "NO!!!!! I will not abandon them! I will not abandon those that need me. But above all, I will not abandon my God!"
Till my dying breathe let this ring true!
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Hang in there, friend:). I had this thought the other day (which was actually spurred from another person's thought), that life can be really hard, but we don't have to do it perfectly, or even always be good at it. We just have to be willing to experience it, and learn from it, and do our best.
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