Helping to break the Silence

Oh my gosh. I just wrote a very long, very vent-ful post on here and tried to publish it, but blogger decided to give me an error thing and said to go back and try posting again, and then it conveniently deleted my post.

Here is the gist of it:

When I am home, I want to be home enjoying myself and Oregon and my friends and not doing stupid homework.

When I am around Matt, I want to be allowed my private loving of him and not be interrupted by his girlfriend showing up to the wedding that he and I are a part of. (I have loved him for 7 full years now, never got over him, and now that I'm older and wiser I know that what I have felt for him all along is love, even if at a slightly lesser degree than what I more recently felt for a certain someone else.) But it's ok and I only cried for a few minutes last night because I have known all along and still know that Matt and I never could be. I am still hoping to find his clone here at BYU. I'd be all over that in a second.

I want to bring back all of these books that are just sitting in my bookcase here in my room but I don't have room to because I have to fill extra space in my suitcase with my brother's hammock! I want to have a bookcase in my room in our new house but now I will have very few books to fill it with, which will now not include my Harry Potter collection, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Princess Bride, my beautiful, stunning, but 10 lbs set of the Lord of the Rings, and my four copies of the Hobbit (yes 4 and they are all different and I love them all. One is even equal in beauty to my LOTR set). Just to name a few.
I will have room to bring a few books with me that I haven't read yet though. Yay...

I realized that there is probably a way to find a saved draft of my last post but I don't really care. I like this one better anyway.

:)

I thought I'd break the silence on this page. Either all of our lives are far too simple and easy or we've all seemed to find another outlet for our pent up frustrations.

As for me and mine? I'm not sure. Probably the other outlet option.

Nonetheless, here's for hoping our lives are great enough that we don't need to vent.

...just had a thought... we may not be venting because we're not in school currently...

Ps. After reading through the Labels for previous posts I think I may be way out of my league on this site, being the only male writer.

sniff, sniff, sneeze

Allergy season is here.

I wish I could take a sick day from the outdoors.

Just when it finally gets nice outside...I can't stop sneezing.

boo. boo. boo.

this morning I woke up and cursed the sky

It's snowing.

It's almost June.

It's supposed to be spring.

Boo. boo. boo.

Why, Utah, why?!?!?!

tick tick tick

I'm stressed.

(Not angry, mind you, just stressed).

And I'm not even really stressed about school. I'm stressed about moving and responsibility and projects and things I want to accomplish outside of school.

And all of this is made worse by the fact that my room is a disaster.

But I'm moving on Thursday. And I'm going to try and not take my messes with me.

Here's to fresh starts and clean carpet.

why do i keep caring?!

When I was in pre-calculus, I would draw doodles of my textbook dying in various ways: stabbed by a knife, lit on fire, drowning.

That was nothing compared to what I'd like to do to 391.....

......I hate it more than physics.

There, I said it.

I didn't think it was possible, but boy, a semester of no sleep and far too much Benson face time proved me so, so, so wrong.

Get me out of here!

There is (no) beauty in the breakdown

Maybe I'm just an idiot.

Or maybe the Periodicals Section of the library is really as confusing as it seems.

I swear I looked in the right section (AP 63 . C6697 Bry7QN E=mc{squared}).

Three times.

Dewey would not be proud.

Not at all.

And of course I would be doing this at 10:30 at night, when there are no kind attendants to help me find what I'm looking for.

Not their fault. Mine for procrastinating everything in life.

Goodbye my darling bed. It looks like we wont' be seeing each other for about 4 days.

When it rains it pours

Okay... so... I just need a hug... from anyone... please...

Again.

Why do I always want what I can't have?


He has a girlfriend.

this backpack's too heavy.

I just can't do it all, okay?
Even when I get everything done that absolutely HAS to be done, there are still papers due in a week that should be started, visiting teaching that should be done, stewardship interviews that should be done, cleaning that should be done, studying that should be done, thermometers to be rewired for the fourth time, quizzes to redo, French resumes and cover letters to write, etc. etc.
And then all the guilt I feel for always complaining or whatever when everyone around me has just as much going on, but is somehow able to be much more cheerful about it all.

For some reason I thought that college would get easier the further in you get.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.

A little more of the same

okay all i want to quickly say before running to class (and you can see how quickly because i'm dropping puctuation all over the place... oops, and now spelling) is this:

i HATE microsoft word! in fact i largely hate microsoft in general. always have. i just want to echo Katies words as i'm trying to wirte this confounded paper in less than 5 mins!!!!!!!!!!!

just give me 3 freaking columns!!!

I HATE MICROSOFT WORD!!!!!

GRRRRR!!!!

that's all.

Utah winter is...

dangerous

cold

slushy

annoying

inconvenient

frustrating

ridiculous

monotonous

only pretty the first day when you are inside

endless

really sucky.