it's not okay.

I used to think I needed to marry a guy who had really high expectations for me because there is something inside me that is stubborn enough to never say "I can't."

Sometimes I thrive in those kinds of circumstances.
But recently, I've realized that, while high expectations help us grow, unrealistic expectations make us give up.

But there comes a point when lines are crossed and the expectations you hold for other people are more than anyone can live up to.
And when you mock them because they fail or because their priorities aren't the same as yours, because they are involved in more than just your life's work,

that's when it's too much.

When I'm getting fired up and all I want to say is:

You just DON'T treat people like that. Just because you are in a position of authority does not give you the right to act like a child.
To ignore people's efforts.
To interrupt them.

If you expect people to listen to you or trust you or ever want to be around you, you have to give them the respect their efforts as well as their successes.

I just have two more words for you: positive reinforcement

this morning I woke up and cursed the sky

It's snowing.

It's almost June.

It's supposed to be spring.

Boo. boo. boo.

Why, Utah, why?!?!?!

There is (no) beauty in the breakdown

Maybe I'm just an idiot.

Or maybe the Periodicals Section of the library is really as confusing as it seems.

I swear I looked in the right section (AP 63 . C6697 Bry7QN E=mc{squared}).

Three times.

Dewey would not be proud.

Not at all.

And of course I would be doing this at 10:30 at night, when there are no kind attendants to help me find what I'm looking for.

Not their fault. Mine for procrastinating everything in life.

Goodbye my darling bed. It looks like we wont' be seeing each other for about 4 days.

While walking to the RB to practice Rumba, by myself:

I stepped in a huge puddle and got my right foot soaked.
I realized I forgot music to dance to, so I'll look really cool...dancing my myself..to the music in my head.


And then I got sprayed with snow/slush/rain/mud/vomit from the sky by a DUMB car that drove by.



GRRR.

cap that.

Dear Religion Professor,

The combined class average for both of your sections on the last midterm was 75.5%. The class average on my last physics test was 72%.

THERE IS SOMETHING VERY WRONG WHEN THE RELIGION TEST IS AS HARD AS THE PHYSICS (and not just any physics mind you, this is electricity and magnetism using calculus, and it sucks) TEST!!!!!!!

ALSO! I think participation points are retarded and that I still deserve an A in French. I know that this has nothing to do with you or your class (except you have some deal with participation too....just so you know I plan on giving myself a 100%), but I am rather frustrated right now.

AND I HATE TYPING PAPERS WITH 2 cm LONG NAIL TIPS!!!!

Angrily yours,

Katya

I'veneverwantedtoswearsobadly

I'm an idiot when it comes to remember passwords.
I'm also completely irresponsible with my finances.

It really sucks when the two combine.

The End.

WHAT is on Friday?

I hate football.

Kind of because it is on the same night as my planned foreign film night.

But mostly because I think it is lame.

The end.

it is sealed. but it is taking forever to equilibrate.

Why yes, it is I, the resident chemist, complaining yet again about work (and using too many commas? grammar geeks, help me out here).

All I want to do is go to the work party, starting in twenty minutes and eat my hamburger and pretty much any other food because I am starving.
But alas, I am still here in the lab waiting for a decent tdot so I can send it into a pulse and then ten minutes after that change the offset and hope for the best.

GRrrrRRrrrr.

*disclaimer: I love, love, love my job. It has been an awesome opportunity to work here and gain so much experience and learn so much. BUT. It can be frustrating. Today is one of those days. So there.

Oh, for the love of gallium!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHh.

Why, oh why, oh why must you be so difficult calorimetry!

I swear, the next time the helium bulb's mysteriously empty after having been filled hours before, the line just won't pump down to a low enough pressure, or the calorimeter doesn't seal for no apparent reason, I'm picking up a hammer. I'm going to unleash my fury on the glass vacuum line and break it into a thousand little pieces and then stomp on them in very thick boots while screaming "Screw this rig! Sign me up for PPMS 101!!!"

And then I will get fired.

Hmmm.

I suppose I'll just keep those actions in my head....and go back to refilling the bulb. For the what is it now? Oh yeah, fourth time in three days.

Awesome.

something worth venting about.

I really don't like the word "hate," but I can't seem to find a better word at this moment.

I hate books that are filthy. and I mean filthy, filthy. Filthy enough to make me put them down, even when the non-filthy parts are sooo potentially incredible. {And I am selective about what I read/watch, but I am not someone who gets squeamish during a PG movie.}

And I hate when you can't even get past page 5. At least the author has the decency to warn you early, that this is not the kind of so-called "love" you believe in and/or want to read about for 500 pages (and believe me, I skimmed a great deal of it, and saw more than a few choice expletives, as well as some "scenes" I have no desire to reproduce in my head)

And I hate that books don't have a rating system. That would make things so much easier. Books are supposed to be better than movies, right?

Grrrrrrr! <---that is how I feel inside right now. Blood boiling. Almost the same way I feel when I think about landfills, and anti-mormon stunts at Conference.

Why Elms, why? I'm not even moving out!*

I HATE CLEANING!!!!!!!

That is all I have to say about that.

*actually it practically feels like I am since I won't be here for the next 5 Sundays. People who know I'm staying in the ward will think I'm inactive. People who move into the ward won't know I exist. I won't meet my new roommates until they've already been living in my apartment for a month....weird...that shouldn't bug me really, but it kinda does...