Trudging through snowstorms

I'm about to go do something that I strongly don't want to do but feel that I have no choice but TO do. I wish there were some other way but I've yet to see any other option.

... Am I just kidding myself? Is this another patience thing? Am I some kind of messed up conglomerate of bad history, like some kind of skewed Picasso painting?

NO! I know what matters to me so I'm going to go searching for it till I find it!! I'm living my life the best I know how, trying to do what's right for me! I feel like this is what's right. I can't continue on the way things have been going!! I control my future.

Futures:
I always could count on futures;
that things will look up
and they look up
why is it so hard to find a balance
between living decent...
and the cold and real
Hey now, what is it you think you see?
My darling, now's the time to disagree

Say hello to good times
Trade up for the fast ride
We close our eyes while the nickel and dime take the streets
completely

Hey now, The past is told by those who win, my darling
What matters is what hasn't been
Hey now, we're wide-awake and we're thinking
My darling, believe your voice can mean something

Say hello to good times
Trade up for the fast ride
We close our eyes while the nickel and dime take the streets
completely

I hate that it's come to this...

Alright... here goes... haven't done this in a while...

Toys-R-Us

I've decided I don't wanna grow up. Yep. Made that decision just now. Why, you ask? Because it's just too gosh darn painful. When I was a kid all I had to think about was me and my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and how they and I were going to take out the Shredder... and Fritz, the next door neighbor's evil dog that chewed up my Casey Jones action figure.... I could have cared less what the girls thought of me. I could have cared less what kind of emotional support I was receiving. I could have cared less about tons.

Now... now... it's just pain...

Let me be six again. Let me have my Donatello's and Michelangelo's to rule the world...

... or maybe just the backyard...

WHAT is on Friday?

I hate football.

Kind of because it is on the same night as my planned foreign film night.

But mostly because I think it is lame.

The end.

I hate job hunting. The end.

So...I've never been that great with computers. I have a love-hate relationship with them. Mostly hate.

I figured it was just my natural tendency to be old-fashioned...(or lazy?)

I mean, I can type like nobody's business...78wpm thank you very much. And am very capable of multi-tasking (i.e. homework plus blog surfing)

But do I have a "working knowledge" (whatever that means) of Excel?
Publisher? (more important question: do I even know what publisher is/does?)
HTML?
WP9? (????)

nope.

Therefore I am obsolete and unqualified for any jobs that don't involve the dreaded cafeteria of the freshman...those days are over.

Oh except one:
I could be a cake froster.
Yep, I can do that.
I think.
oh wait. it's from midnight to THREE in the morning!*


*I think I'll pass on the walking-home-late-at-night-and-getting-attacked part. If only I had a nice gentleman to walk me home...ha...ha...
(And this just turned into a rant about boys..wow. It's official: I blame all my problems in life on men. It's just easier that way.)

Maybe I'm picky.
Not! I'm not picky!
I wanted to be a waitress! but no one will hire me because I'm not 21 yet! (stupid utah)

GAHHHHH.....

All I need to say is...

I don't really like getting verbally slapped in the face....twice.

Especially when I don't deserve it.

Choices

AGH! Will everyone stop asking me to dance open with them!? Sheesh.

Let's see there's Kirstie, Shawndeen, Chris, Jessica, Kimber, Beth, Tanya, Abby, and the girl that I can't remember the name of.

Good gravy! And now they're asking for me to dance Open Standard! Can they not see I've never done standard? Either there are no guys out in the selection pool, their blind as bats, or I'm "ridiculously good looking..." so they want to dance with me because of my body... yeah, scratch that last one.

Oy! I'm not complaining. I'm really rather grateful. Makes me feel good to know that I'm wanted by someone. I just feel terrible every time I tell another girl no. =S

To all you girls that want to dance with me: "I'm sorry! I'm taken!" : (

: (

A Red, Red Rose

O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie
That's sweetly played in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry:

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only Luve,
And fare thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it ware ten thousand mile.

- Robert Burns

This isn't even a vent really. Just a call for normalcy. A prayer for peace. ...... but most of all a kid clinging to Hope...

I WANT TO HURT SOMEONE!

I have not been this mad in a LONG time. I want to scream. Maybe I'm overreacting, but we've been planning this for over a WEEK! Two groups of us were going to leave for Tel Aviv at 8:30 to go to the beach and do shopping and stuff. We have a whole day off, so it was perfect. This morning though, three of us had to go get money changed because we were a little short. We waited 20 minutes (not exaggeration) for a girl to get ready to come. 20 minutes after our PLANNED meeting time. So we left a little after 8. I would have left without her to walk to the city but we have to go in threes.... so we had to wait. We walked to the city, I was trying to hurry but the other two were kinda just taking their time, saying the people would wait for us. We got to the money changers, changed our money to shekels, and I said we should take a taxi back because they're going to leave in about 2 minutes. They didn't want to pay the 1 dollar (also not an exaggeration) to pay for a taxi to cut out 15 minutes of walking, and it would be breaking the rules for me to take one alone. So we meandered back. Got there 15 minutes late. Then, we waited almost 10 minutes for her to get her stuff together that she obviously hadn't done before, before we could walk up the million and a half flights of stairs to the top of our Center and then out onto the street where our taxis should be. They were probably gone by the time we originally got to the center anyway. So we finally got up there, and guess what? Everyone had left us. They knew we were changing money but we just had to take almost an hour to do that and come back, which should have only taken 30 minutes and we would have been just fine. SO, I don't get to go to the beach with people I wanted to spend the day with, including a cute boy, and now I have to change out of my swimsuit and settle for staying in yet ANOTHER day this week studying all day long. I simply can't wait for that exciting adventure...

I shouldn't hold grudges but how inconsiderate do you get? I might not be able to talk to her for days. That's fine, she kinda ignores me anyway half the time.

Whatever

*Daniel's right. *Elizabeth's right. *Clyde's right. *Rebecca's right. They're ALL right!

So what the heck is my problem!? Why can't I listen to people's advice!? "Out of the mouth of two or three..." Hello!? Why do we ask for people's advice if we don't even use it? Perhaps because we secretly wish that someone along the way will give us the advice we're looking to hear!

Απλά. Αγαπάω τιν φίλη μου. Γιατί δεν με δίνει αυτό που χρειάζομαι;

All I can clearly say is this: &%$#@!?!?, &%$#@!?!?, &%$#@!?!?, &%$#@!?!?

*Names have been changed.